How to Deal...

If you were to do something that you despise doing and that others think that its the best for you, would you do it or would you simply ignore the fact that it is the reality of things and would somehow be--on the latter--something that could change your life?


well, if I was to do one thing in my life, that is to become who I am and not somebody else. honestly, It would totally be a depiction that you are somebody else's robot and not really living up to yourself. 


my friends always gets too feel and hear me "blab" all the time about being in a chrysalis for so long and that deep inside me, i want to burst that chrysalis open and bust the hell out of that stinking prison cell that i am in for who knows when; and i somehow appreciate those who lend me their ears and listen to what i have to say. to reciprocate the deed, i listen to whatever they have to tell me and then it makes me realize that somewhere out there, there is that someone that you can always turn to in times of being in deep-shit and agony.


to be fully honest, i am really tired of living my life in the shadows--hiding my true self to the ones that others think are the most important people in their lives which is, by the way, so not true--and somehow live a life filled with lies and deception. 


I don't really know what is going on or when this will ever actually end, but i can feel somehow that deep inside me, my heart tells me that its going to be really soon. 2010 has been a blast for me--being able to get a job, earn money without the help of others, buying things that i love and splurge on the sweet temptation of blissful fantasy and everything else in between. 


this year, i have learned to drink and drive (literally) and drink and drink and drink...I have become a drunkard for the sake of being sober enough not to express my deepest angst towards the people that forced me to become such an illusive person and nevertheless, hated the world because of its existence. 


but on the brighter side of things, there is that certain hope that still lingers at the end of the tunnel telling me to head that way and get to see life at somewhat a different angle, view or perspective or whatever you may want to call it.


so going back, i would have to say--get a life. you are the king or queen of your own world. you don't necessarily have to change for the sake of others. to quote, we don't always please everybody. so, if you were asked to do something that you despise of, stop and think for a second. if you were to do it, with utmost certainty, then ask yourself. 

is it going to change me? or is it going to drag me down and tear me apart? 

if you are able to answer that, then it wouldn't be so hard for you to decide whether to take the left side of the road or the right-side one. think about it. there is always room for thoughts and second chances and oh, happy thoughts too. :)