Not a Love Story

Can you still remember the first time? Well, I do. The images are so vivid that when I think about them, I swear I felt like time never really moved. I always see you from a distance, chatting with your "boys" and just laughing the afternoon away.

Everyday, I would watch you pass by the same spot—where you would laugh it out with your boys while I sit in a corner, on the usual bench on the usual spot on a typical afternoon. Every night, in my dreams, I would always pray that one day, you would come to me and ask me something—of which I don’t now if I could even answer—but still, the feeling of yearning to hear that very question, that one question that could change everything, clings on to me like it was stuck with glue.

And then one day, like a typical love story written in an extraordinary way, our paths crossed. Its not that I never wanted our paths to cross, but I never thought it would be sooner—at least, that was what I thought. But then, when it did, I actually liked the feeling. I was only being myself, naïve, careless and free. You were being yourself, arrogant, in demand, the one person that people would love to hang around with all day, the one that would put smiles on everyone’s faces, and the one that would change how the way the world goes.

 But I was never that person who would wish to be yours. I just wanted you around, that was it; I never wanted you to come along and bring goodness into my life as it already is good in its own way. I never wanted to have someone who—I hear everyone calls “mine”. I just wanted someone who would make me feel like I was safe when I am around him and that every moment that I spend with him would be of bliss.

You smiled as you picked my stuff up from the ground where they all feel when you bumped into me—or was I who bumped into you, I never really cared. You apologized without looking anywhere else but straight through my eyes; I thought your eyes had a beautiful chestnut-y glow and that your lashes brushed on each strand perfectly everytime you blinked. Your lips were red and smooth and your teeth were pearly whites. Your hair, even though they are sticking out in every direction, looked pretty much adorable. Your breath smelled like sushi and your voice was as musky as I ever thought it would be.

Your shoulders were broad and muscular; your arms were strong—strong enough to hold my books that weighed a thousand pounds or so—and your legs, their powerful enough to make you hold your entire body to the ground.

I smiled back; with thoughts flying around in my head, thinking of what to say. I felt butterflies in my stomach and it was nasty; but, I mustered all my courage to say that I was in a hurry and that I didn’t have the time to stay long enough to chat. I pulled away and never gave a single glance back.

The following days and weeks were inevitable. Everytime you see me by the corner—on the usual bench on the usual spot on a typical afternoon—you never failed to stop by and say hi. But that was just it. Hi-goodbye! I never got the chance to thank you or apologize or whatever I was supposed to do after bumping into you and that made me sad. But nevertheless, its what I wanted in the first place.

I never wanted someone to call mine or someone that I could tag along in my quests. I just wanted someone who would always be around, never leaving me at one corner with flowing tears from my eyes. From the way I see it, things are going perfectly fine. No commitments, No fuss, No nothing. The end.