December...

As I have read blogs from the people I know by heart, most of them said that it is the time of the year that we are to think over the things that we have done for the past few months and somehow come up with realizations as to how we did it, how we learned from it, how we cope up with everything else and start a new list of things to look forward to the next year--and most probably, new things to ponder on and again, modify the year after next and so on.

As one of the blogger's blogs that I have read implied, once you get caught up to a routine that you are most likely to be in anyway, you can never escape the fact that it bores you and you have to do something to escape that norm and break the monotony of things in one way or another. 

But that is just it. That is the main problem with me. I don't know why its so easy for others to get their way while I find it the hardest just to even have privacy? Sometimes, I feel so jealous about them--being able to go to places with their buddies and stuff, being able to do the things they want and get away with it and just be themselves for all its worth. 

I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't even have the slightest idea as how to fix it, if ever it can still be fixed. 

A minor interruption: as of the moment, I am chatting with a friend of mine who hasn't chatted with me for quite some time now, even though he is always online. ANOTHER ONE called me just a couple of seconds ago asking IF I was still alive and breathing! Isn't it annoying when people are like this? They pop out when you least expect them and when the time comes that you really need someone to talk to, they are nowhere to be found! gawd!

Anyways, as I have repeatedly and redundantly mentioned over and over again, my life is like a test paper filled with so much questions--but in this case, an answer sheet is unavailable. I don't know where to start or how to pick up the pieces. 

All I know is that I won't allow 2011 to pass by without giving me an answer to at least one of my questions. If I still fail in doing that, then I don't know what else to do.